


Night Shift

by Writingwife83



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s04e02 The Lying Detective, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Love Confessions, Survivor Guilt, as was the case with a number of the mentions of our fave pathologist, we should have gotten to see this scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-09-16 21:15:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9289847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writingwife83/pseuds/Writingwife83
Summary: Molly takes the overnight Sherlock watch and is at first a little concerned about how to keep him busy, but they eventually fall into a rather revealing conversation. A conversation that ends up being exactly what they both needed.**2nd place winner in the 2017 SAMFA for Best Hurt/Comfort in K-T**





	

**Author's Note:**

> I was motivated to write this after watching the latest (AND AMAZING) ep The Lying Detective. Though I enjoyed the mentions of dear Molly, this was a scene I wish we got on screen. This also fit a prompt from "vegasring" on tumblr for a one shot based on the quote from Loo Brealey's interview where she mentioned her love for Sherlock being "redemptive" for them both. Enjoy! ;)  
> And just FYI, the T rating is for mention of drug use.

“You want tea?” Molly asked as Sherlock tossed his scarf and coat onto the couch.

“Thank you, yes,” Sherlock agreed, taking a seat in front of his laptop.

Molly puttered around the kitchen for a few minutes, slowly setting up to make the tea. While doing so she glanced at the time. It was almost half past eight now. She hadn’t minded taking a long shift overnight. Especially since it was either that or stay with Rosie overnight. At this point it was a toss up which would lose her more sleep. Sherlock was a restless recovering addict but poor Rosie was an unsettled infant, missing something she could not fully express or even comprehend. At least here at Baker St, she didn’t have to hold back tears every time the baby woke up and Molly was met with a face which was only minimally comforted by her appearance. She could always see a tiny hint of panic in Rosie’s eyes, wondering where that other face was…her favorite face. Molly knew that it would take some time before she’d simply stop looking for it.

She walked over with the tea just as Sherlock was shutting his laptop.

“Nothing good?”

“Doesn’t London understand that I need to be kept busy at the moment?” he complained.

“Well that’s what we’re all doing here,” Molly responded cheerily as she settled into John’s chair with her tea. “We’ll keep you busy.”

“Drinking tea?” He rolled his eyes while taking a sip.

Molly shrugged. “Or whatever else you’d like to do. I’ll do anything.”

Sherlock looked over and raised a brow, prompting Molly to give him a warning glance.

“Obviously not _anything_. But you know what I mean.”

“You should have brought body parts,” he said with a sigh, setting his tea cup down.

“That did occur to me. Sorry, there just wasn’t really anything available today.”

Sherlock appeared a bit impatient, his knee bouncing steadily. Molly felt her own nerves mounting. It wasn’t even all that late yet and she’d have to keep him busy till morning. And with Sherlock, it was hard to tell how much he’d actually end up sleeping.

“I don’t believe I’ve come down from the high yet,” he muttered.

“What?” Molly’s eyes widened a bit.

“Sugar high, Molly,” he clarified.

She released a breath she’d been holding for a moment. “Ah…right.” She smiled. “Worth it though. Good cake, I’d say.”

“Mm.” He looked thoughtful for a moment. “Speaking of which, I should send a picture to Mycroft.”

Molly giggled. “We did invite him but your poor brother had a meeting.”

“You honestly think he had a meeting?” Sherlock asked with a laugh while typing away on his phone. “He _has a meeting_ whenever he’s invited to a social function he’d like to avoid. Trust me, he deserves to see this picture. Besides, it’s hardly right for me to be the only one going without. Got to remind him of what he’s missing!” He punched the send button dramatically.

“Misery loves company, eh?” She winced. “Not that I’m suggesting you’re literally miserable.”

Sherlock’s features fell just a touch. “Aren’t we all, in a way?” he asked softly, and the answer was of course yes.

A bit of silence settled in then and Molly started feeling a little uncomfortable. She finally got up and walked over to peruse the bookshelf, hoping to find something interesting and perhaps motivate him to follow suit. She was pleasantly surprised when Sherlock got up as well, though he picked a different activity…his violin.

The next two hours were spent without conversation. Sherlock played and made notes, apparently writing something new, and Molly found a fascinating book on psychology and quickly become absorbed in that.

"I think I'll have a shower," Sherlock finally announced as it was nearing eleven.

Molly shut her book and smiled. “Sure, that’s fine. I’ll just…be here.”

He gave her a little nod and then exited the room. Molly did her best to go back to focusing on the pages of the book as she heard the washroom door close, the shower turn on, and the curtain slide closed. It became a tiny bit harder to ignore what he was doing when she heard…was that humming? Molly clamped a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing aloud, despite being out of earshot. She couldn’t quite make out the tune, but he was most definitely humming in the shower. She shook her head a smiled. How was it possible that even now, even given the circumstances, she found little ways to fall further in love with him?

In about twenty minutes Sherlock emerges fresh and clean, in his pajamas and dressing gown with his hair still a bit damp. The smell of his soap wafted a bit as he walked by and Molly wondered if perhaps it was better for her heart to start leaving the night shift to John and Mrs. Hudson.

He settled in his chair again and his fingers began flying on his mobile. “Thank God Twitter never sleeps,” he muttered softly.

Molly yawned, probably unconsciously triggered by the word sleep. “And what about you? Are you not planning on sleeping?”

"Mm, not tired.” A moment later though, he looked over at her half reclined on the couch. “No need for you to stay up though. You can certainly take my bed.”

As tempting as the thought was of curling up in his no doubt luxurious and delicious smelling bed, Molly had resolved not to sleep unless he did. She knew what the silence did to him, and she refused to leave him alone with that sort of torment.

“Oh I’m not really all that tired,” she said, probably a bit too brightly.

Sherlock smirked while looking back down at his phone. “You’re a truly terrible liar. How will you stay awake at the hospital tomorrow?”

“I took a later shift. If I’m tired I’ll nap a bit tomorrow morning before I go in.”

Unexpectedly, something shifted in Sherlock's eyes, as if he’d just had a thought. He set the phone down on the side table and grazed the edge of his forefingers over his lips and chin. Finally he glanced over at Molly again.

“Speaking of your job, Molly,” he began, looking instantly hesitant. “Would you say that your career-” He paused again, the next words getting a little tangled in his throat. “Completes you…as a human being?”

Her first reaction was to let out a short laugh at the wording. He seemed rather serious though, so she cleared her throat. "Completes me as a human being? Well, I dunno, that seems a tall order for a regular old job.”

He tipped his head a little in genuine confusion. “Why? You enjoy it.”

Molly nodded. "I do, yeah. I love what I do."

“Ah!” he exclaimed, looking pleased. “There you go, you love it!”

She pursed her lips. “I still don’t know if I’d say it _completes me_ though.”

Sherlock rolled his eyes. “You’re good at it, you love it, it supports you materially…what exactly is it lacking?”

She paused for a moment and then shrugged one shoulder just slightly. “It’s still just a job, you know? It’s not a person. Not living or breathing. Maybe I love doing the job but…” The rest was a tiny bit harder to get out. “Well, it could never love me back, could it?”

He blinked and then swallowed. “So it has to be something- someone- who will love you?”

Molly gave him a tight smile. “That’s the idea I think, yeah.”

Sherlock nodded, looking thoughtful.

"Although," Molly added, feeling the need to clarify a bit even as she cringed in embarrassment at the path her words took. “Sometimes getting the same in return isn’t necessarily the most important thing. When you love someone, I mean.”

"So..." he began slowly, eyes narrowing. “If you love a person, that in itself can be fulfilling?”

She inhaled slowly and deeply while smiling. “Right. Sometimes…in some ways…that’s enough.”

He considered this for a moment and then drew a breath. “John and I disagreed today about what is needed to feel _complete_.”

“Do you feel complete?”

His eyes shot to hers, maybe a bit faster than she’d expected in response to her soft question.

“Sometimes,” came his low rumbling answer. “Do you?”

Her brow shot up a little, not really expecting him to turn the question to her.

Molly was embarrassed to feel the lump form all too quickly in her throat. “Sometimes,” she echoed.

“It’s no wonder John believes all that I suppose,” Sherlock said with a little huff and then added softly, "She's not even here anymore.”

“What?”

He looked at Molly solemnly. “Mary. She’s not even here…and yet she moves him. She still moves John to be…better. Better than he sees himself to be anyway.” He sniffed. “Of course, technically it’s all in his head I suppose. But there’s still something surprisingly and profoundly powerful about all of that. So I suppose he would have his own logical reasons for urging me to pursue a similar course.”

Molly tried to turn her head away a bit and covertly wipe the tears that had started to overflow from her eyes. She didn’t completely conceal herself though, because as she turned back, there he was standing by the couch looking a bit concerned.

“Forgive me,” he said in a contrite tone. “I didn’t realize that would bother you.”

Molly shook her head and smiled. “No, it’s ok, it’s not your fault. I just-“ She had to wipe more tears away. “I get emotional anytime I hear about Mary.”

He very slowly moved forward and took a seat, though it was at the opposite end of the couch.

“You’d become close,” he stated.

She nodded. “Well yeah. But I mean, it’s a bit more than that right now.”

Sherlock frowned slightly. “What is it then?”

Molly waved her hand at the question. “It’s silly,” she said with a shaky laugh. “I’m just making something out of nothing.”

He leaned back and lifted his palms for a moment. “What else have we got to pass the time? Care to try a bit of therapy? John swears by it.” He smiled.

She let out a short chuckle and sniffled a little more. His smile was surprisingly comforting. She felt safe once his lips had lifted like that, and somehow she couldn’t help agreeing. Maybe she really should share what had been weighing on her.

“Ok well, please don’t tell me I’m being ridiculous, ok?”

“I’m not technically a professional, so I can promise I won’t attempt a diagnosis,” he stated, keeping the mood light.

Molly drew a deep breath of courage. “I just- I can’t help but feel…guilty when I think about Mary.” She glanced at him nervously.

His brow furrowed again. “What could you possibly have to feel guilty about?”

She licked her lips. “Nothing I did, of course. It’s more how I _feel_ sometimes.” The next part was what really got her pulse racing. “How I feel when I see you.”

She could feel his focus on her heighten at that moment, and the lightness of mood very quickly vanished.

“Do you know what I thought that day?” Molly asked, going on while twisting one of the buttons on her cardigan. “When Mrs. Hudson called and told me what had happened? She told me everything and I- I though-“ She stopped, feeling her breath catch again, having to whisper her next words. “Thank God he’s alive.”

Sherlock looked almost terrified as he watched her eyes well up again.

Molly gulped back some tears. "And every time I see that beautiful baby girl, and I see John barely able to get up every day and put one foot in front of the other…” She inhaled in gasps. “In the same breath I feel myself thinking about how glad I am that you’re still alive and here with us, and then I hate myself for being so selfish!”

She didn’t dare look over at him then, but kept her eyes safely downward and only occasionally lifted a hand to wipe the moisture away from her face. He was silent, and she was grateful. Because in that moment she wasn’t sure she’d want to hear what he was thinking. She’d come this far and figured she may as well keep going.

Molly blew out a heavy breath and then leaned back. “I wish they could have Mary back. I wish that for John and Rosie, I really do. And I’d do anything to make that happen!” she said firmly. But her face crumpled again quickly. “But God, I’m so grateful it wasn’t you.”

There was a long silence as Molly took cleansing breaths and dried her face. She had almost begun to wonder if Sherlock had decided to mentally check out. She wouldn’t blame him. Probably not the best timing for her to heap her emotional burdens on him when he was just doing his level best not to shoot up in the loo.

“It means that much to you?”

The low sound of his voice made her finally look over. And what she saw made her eyes cloud over once again. He looked awestruck and humbled, his eyes searching hers desperately.

She licked her lips and nodded. “Yeah, it does.”

He pressed his eyes shut, turning away for a moment before looking back at her just as intensely. “How can it? How is that possible?”

Molly felt the blood pumping in her ears again. “Because it’s just- that’s how much I, um-“ She faltered and chewed her lip for a moment. She was going to try again, but she forgot how when she felt his hand enclose hers.

She looked over in shock. He wasn’t looking at her, but his hand was squeezing hers so tightly and his thumb was moving just a bit over her knuckles.

“Thank you,” he said, almost inaudibly.

He paused for quite a long time and Molly was too frozen in awe to move or say anything else.

“I know I have certainly considered it an error,” he added. “For Mary’s life to be lost in place of mine. The trade seems so incredibly unjust.”

Molly could barely stand to hear him speak that way. “Sherlock, nobody feels that way. No matter how destroyed everyone is to lose her, nobody would ever want to lose you either.”

He turned and his eyes reached out to her again. “Yes, but don’t you see? Nobody else has said it. They’ve all admitted it can’t be changed, I’ve been helped and supported, and even forgiven and assured I’m not at fault. But I hadn’t heard anything like your words till now…thank God he’s alive,” he said, repeating her wording with a very slight tremor in his voice.

Molly squeezed his hand hard in response and was able to manage another smile. “Everyone is thinking it, I promise. We’re all grateful to have you with us, even if we did lose someone else we love. Which might explain our anger at how terribly you’ve been treating your life lately,” she added pointedly.

Sherlock’s lips twitched upward momentarily. “There, you see? There’s something to be said for your supposedly selfish feelings after all. Perhaps I needed to hear it.”

"Well I can say it again and again, any time you want,” she said with a little laugh, relieved to feel her tears finally drying. Strangely enough this did actually help quite a bit. She’d never considered that the thoughts which made her feel rather guilty could be a bit of a lifeline for him. It felt almost…redemptive. She even ventured to think that he could be experiencing the same thing. That was what moved her.

“Come here,” Molly said and tugged on his hand, causing Sherlock to scoot over obediently.

Molly wasn’t offended by the instant look of hesitance in his eyes at the closer contact. This was Sherlock after all, and he wasn’t exactly cuddly. But she also didn’t mind asserting herself a little, given the circumstances. She leaned in closer and pressed a warm kiss to his cool cheek, drinking in the smell of his freshly washed skin as his stubble tickled in a way that was so heart wrenchingly normal, and then laying her head on his shoulder, all the while still clasping his hand tightly atop her leg.

It took a few moments for her to hear Sherlock gulp and then speak softly. “What was that for?”

“For making me feel better,” she said, and then added playfully, “I think there is something to be said for this kind of therapy.” She felt him chuckle. “And you know there is something to be said for what John told you too. He is right. It’s all true what he said. Even with some of the pain and trouble that goes along with it, that sort of love really is worth it in the end.”

More silence followed, prompting Molly to make a clarifying statement. "I'm sure it’s hard for you to believe. But I really do hope some day you see what everyone’s talking about.”

Molly felt her heartbeat rush as his arm encircled her shoulders and he craned his neck to press a kiss to her forehead. She felt him release a sigh and lean his cheek against her head as he answered softly.

“Maybe I’m already starting to.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah so...I cried a few times while writing this lol. I must admit that I enjoyed the feels. Hope you did too! And thanks to Lexie for giving this a once over before I posted it on tumblr yesterday. ;)


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